Hope Dries Tears

Posted on March 19, 2012 by jroesler728

When seeking to comfort a grieving friend we remind ourselves that we do indeed grieve but NOT as those who have no hope. Grief is a place of brokenhearted loneliness.  I am crushed with loneliness when I grieve because no one can experience my personal loss. I am the only one who really knows the complexity of what is gone.

The introduction of hope to the grieving heart must be carefully timed. Delivered too early, the hope described can sound like an abrasive cliché. Delivered too late, perceived hopelessness becomes a breeding ground for despair.

So, this is what I am asking from my friends:

Let me grieve—-but not too long

Remind me of my hope—but not too early.

Walk with me and watch with me as hope dries tears.

How have you accessed the hope that is the anchor for your soul?

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A Banquet with the King

Posted on March 16, 2012 by jroesler728

I still have the invitation, a yellowed newspaper article and the gilded program.

I have forgotten many things from the past fifty years but crystal clear is my memory of being in the presence of a king. Here is how it happened:

I was studying nursing at a hospital in Milwaukee. My boyfriend was a seminary intern at a Norwegian Church in Minneapolis. A banquet was planned in honor of the King of Norway and my boyfriend was given two tickets!!! And that is how I became a guest at a relatively small gathering of Norwegian Lutheran immigrants, each of us pinching ourselves to make sure it was true, as the king joined us for dinner.

We caught our breath enough to sing the Norwegian National Anthem, “Ja Vi Elske dette Landet”, with tears running down our cheeks. With much less energy we followed with “O say can you see.” Yes, I really did feast with the king and I love the memory of it even today.

This week I was a part of a prayer class where we prayed “Thy Kingdom Come…” I was reminded that in this prayer I was talking to the King of kings.

May prayer always be stunning and never ordinary.

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Jolted by Grace

Posted on March 14, 2012 by jroesler728

What happened? I was backing out of our garage as I usually do. There is no need to pay careful attention to that which you do routinely. BUT, this morning the car jolted to a sudden stop for “no reason.”

Stunned, I tried to discern what had stopped the car’s momentum. It was then that my eyes caught both the rear view mirror and the side mirror. I had been backing up against the big white van of our houseguest. I wondered why I hadn’t heard the crash; the sound of metal crushing metal?

Trembling, I opened the car door and walked back to check the damage. What I saw was a 2-inch space between my back bumper and the van. What (or Whom) intervened in my careless behavior? Who, besides me, had control of my car?

I sat for a few minutes and pondered this incident. Had I caught God in the act of grace? How often does He protect me and I not notice?

As I resumed my routine drive into work I found myself settling into two postures. I was on red alert to what might be in my path AND I was resting in the safety of having a Protector.

Have you been jolted by grace?

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Why He Flies

Posted on March 12, 2012 by jroesler728

by John Batson

It seems that if you talk to ten different adult kite fliers you will get ten different reasons why they fly. As for me, flying kites reminds me of the carefree days of my youth. A time long before deadlines and commitment. A time before cell phones and computers. At least in my memories, it was a simpler time and place. What follows is one of those kite memories.

At times I think back to my earliest recollection of kite flying. It was in St. Louis along the banks of the Mississippe River that I first discovered the enchantment of the singing string. While it was more than 59 years ago now, it truly seems like just yesterday that my older sister Mary would often take me along on kite flying trips. From these journeys into the world of soaring in the skies grew a very special relationship between my sister and me that has lasted a lifetime. It is strange how the simplest of events can stick in your mind from when we were children.

I will always remember one day of kite flying in particular. The wind was cool and steady from the west, and the sky was gray and overcast, as it is much of the time in the late fall. We launched our paper-covered box kite from the top of a hill overlooking the river. It quickly gained altitude as the line buzzed off our spool . Within a few minutes it was a mere speck soaring 1,000 feet over the river. Softly clouds began to obsure the river below. Soon the clouds and the fog had moved in and we found ourselves enshrouded in a cool gray mist. The kite was lost from view with only its early bound umbilical cord remaining to point the direction of its captive spirit.

As time passed, a strange silence fell over my sister and me as we sat there on that dew-covered hilltop. After what seemed to me like hours, which I”m now sure was only 15 or 20 minutes, my sister looked down at me with a smile and without a word, cut the string.

In a flash our kite was gone. It seemed like the right thing to do. She had set the spirit of the singing string free. I will alway remember that cold, windy, gray day and deep in my heart I know that somewhere our kite still soars dancing on the wings of eagles.

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Look Up and Enjoy the Feast!

Posted on March 9, 2012 by jroesler728

A big jar of cashews slipped out of my hand. The nuts scattered across the kitchen floor. As I was brushing them into the dustpan I wondered if I should just pick them up with my fingers and eat them.  It seemed wasteful to throw them out. Then I remembered the bird/squirrel feeding station that I watch every morning while I am having my coffee. As I walked barefooted across the deck I stepped on remnants of birdseed and then spread the cashews along the rail.

Before long a small squirrel arrived on the deck. He (or maybe she) groveled through the remnants of the seed and then sat straight up with head in the air. It seemed that he had noticed something.

I silently talked to him. Look up. There’s something special on the rail.

He walked to the post and I couldn’t tell if he was going to jump down and hop up.

Look up! I said again.

To my delight he scrambled up the post and found himself in the middle of a pile of cashews. He tasted one and he was hooked. After chewing as fast as he could he filled his mouth again. When he couldn’t eat anymore he stuffed his mouth with nuts and ran off to hide them somewhere. He came back and ran off with more.

Do I realize that a table has been prepared for me today? Am I looking up and feasting?

How about you?

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Today At Lunch

Posted on March 7, 2012 by jroesler728

by  Shirlee Vandegrift

I went out to have lunch with a friend. Seated at a table next to us were two men of advanced years, like my friend and me.  They must have been, at the least, 75. 

You know how it is in a restaurant, conversations going on all around and only little snippets getting your attention.  Well, I wasn’t making a point of listening in, but I did hear one of the men talking about feeding someone.  He said that sometimes the person he was feeding wouldn’t open her mouth.  It became apparent that the person he was feeding was his wife who, it seemed, lived in a health care facility.  I gathered his wife was past knowing her husband, or speaking to him, as he ministers to her lovingly.

Do you overhear pieces of conversations in public and make up your own story about the lives of the talkers?  Could I tell a lot about the men and their marriages from these few minutes of eavesdropping? Did these men still think their wives were beautiful?  Did they remember the wedding day when they promised to love through sickness and health?  Did the bride and groom ever believe that solemn vow would come to this?  Surely not.  After all, they were healthy and hardy when they married.

Here was a stranger to me, with obvious love and concern, telling what it is like to try to care for a wife who has gone somewhere he can’t follow.  But he is walking the walk the best he can. 

And then he related a recent occurrence.  He had given his wife a spoonful of food and while he was waiting for  her to swallow he filled up the spoon for the next bite.  As he moved the spoon toward her mouth, she unexpectedly mumbled, “Wait a minute.”  He was surprised and delighted, you could just tell from his voice. His friend knew it was an important happening too.  The friend said, “It gives you hope, doesn’t it?”  The husband, quietly and gently indicated that there was really no hope for a reversal of his wife’s condition, but he was O.K. with that.

I silently praised God for every wonderful thing that I learned in a couple of minutes.  Long marriages still took place and love lasted.  Two men trusted each other enough to share their heart feelings.  God had blessed these men with long lives, good women, enough health of their own to care for wives who had cared for them for years, and a quiet satisfaction for a life that was still meaningful even after experiencing losses.

For me, I started out to have potato pancakes and got a feast instead.  I thought of the joy that was mine all the day long.  When we say “Praise God” we don’t always say it with conviction.  It is one of those automatic responses, like “How are you?” To which we say, ”Fine.”  To this snippet of conversation I say, “Praise God” with all of my being.  I thank God for the two men, who unwittingly included me in their day.  I thank God for the gifts He gives all of us and the ability to not only recognize gifts but to be thankful for them.  I thank Jesus for being with me on my journey and pray that I will give help where I am able and take help where it is needed.

Most of all, I feel love all around me.   Praise God!

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Praying for or with Others

Posted on March 5, 2012 by jroesler728

Sometimes we may want to pray with or for someone but are not sure how to start. Here are some thoughts.

I am grateful that I can pray for someone at anytime. No one but God needs to know.

The privilege of praying with someone is one in which it is respectful to ask permission. If the person says, “No”, we can say, “Thank you for trusting me with an honest answer.” We do not know what prayer may mean to that person or what the past experience of being prayed with has meant.

Sometimes, on a hospital visit, I will ask, “Would it be better if I pray with you now or for you after I leave?” This let’s the person know that prayers will be prayed but gives freedom to choose how and when.

Some relationships are so familiar that the conversation can change from the person to God without notice. This acknowledges God’s Presence and involvement.  I hope you have a friend with whom prayer is this natural.

What are you learning about prayer?

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Borrowing an Idea for Prayer

Posted on March 2, 2012 by jroesler728

Content of quote contributed by Kim Owens

I was deeply blessed to discover the following thoughts from a friend who prays for me:

So thankful ~ whenever eternal perspective washes over life circumstance ~ bringing freedom from worry & hope for tomorrow ~ destroying darkness & increasing faith. Perspective shared in the great wisdom of a small child, the passionate ideals of the next generation, the bitter struggles of the hurting, the long-suffered triumphs of the aged. God’s perspective putting right the world, humbling our thinking, abounding with love. 
So thankful ~

I invite you to join me in personalizing these thoughts, identifying the circumstances of your life and forming them into a prayer of thanksgiving.

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Trading Rubber Plant Places

Posted on February 29, 2012 by jroesler728

I wrote about the Rubber Plant Doctor in October of 2011. That story explains why I have three rubber plants in my living room. I hope you scroll back and read about it.

Now it is four months later and all three plants are living. They are, actually, more than living. Each plant is showing evidence of new growth, but they are not thriving equally.

The one at the east window is fun to check. Not only are there new sprigs from the soil, but also several red shoots from the leaf stems and even bursts of life along the tough old stalks. That plant can’t seem to find enough ways to celebrate.

The one in the corner takes less time to check. There are some new sprigs but the main plant is basically unchanged. It does not have access to direct sun.

The one at the south window is flourishing at a rate that falls between the two described above. Better than the second description but not as good as the first.

I have three friends. The first one seems to live in sunshine. She is always celebrating something. The second one is painted into a corner. Her life is a struggle. The third one is managing. She has neither the advantages of the first nor the burdens of the second.

This week I am going to ensure that the rubber plants trade places. I am going to move them into each other’s space for a season.  If I do this periodically maybe they will each get what they need.

I don’t have the power to make the lives of my three friends fair.

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Releasing What Is Gone

Posted on February 27, 2012 by jroesler728

There is no doubt that aging involves loss. I have referenced processing loss as one of the essential ingredients to growing old gracefully. But how do we know when something is gone?

There is, of course, the loss that cannot be ultimately denied such as the physical death of a loved one.  Here the grieving process will protect by cushioning the impact with stages that lead to reality.  When we first hear the news we know it cannot be true, but as time goes on, we realize that it indeed is true.

But there are other losses that have less tangible markers. It may be the loss of marital intimacy, as one spouse, in the riptide of dementia, is becoming a stranger. It may be the loss of being your own home repairman as reaching high produces pain and lifting heavy is something you promise yourself you will not try again. It may be as simple as not being able to open the sealed bag in a box of cereal without reaching for a scissors. 

It may be the loss of being recognized as a leader in your area of work. Someone else is now in the spotlight. There is a new experience of insecurity as you seek to get in step with the drumbeat of new leadership.

It may be an eroding of confidence that God will work in the lives of your children in the way you have prescribed for Him.

Whatever the loss, how do we access the grace to be diminished? Do we need to start by recognizing that the thing we are clinging to is gone?

I look forward to your comments.

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