Maybe I Can Bring a Smile

Posted on September 30, 2011 by jroesler728

A friend of mine is in the process of aligning her income to her lifestyle. If being a Senior Adult were an academy she would be in pre-school, in other words, she is younger than I am.

A few weeks ago she accepted an offer on her “for sale” condo. In this market, you are glad to break even, and she is. So now where does she move? She told me that she was considering an apartment in a Senior Living Center. Because this particular place is where we have significant ministry my immediate response was “Maybe this is your mission field?”

With refreshing honesty my friend confided to me that the environment of the Senior Living Center did not feel like a “fit.” She would have much preferred a duplex with young families near by. Yet, she feels this Senior Living Center is where God is leading her. She has come to understand that this will not be her “home.” She knows that she is dwelling in Jesus and the journey is her home.

I often sign my letters to Senior Adults, “Thank you for the privilege of being your pastor as you continue to be my teacher.”  I am thankful for this teacher. She concluded our conversation by saying, “Maybe I can bring a smile?”

Where is your mission field? Are you bringing a smile?

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Fun, Anyway!

Posted on September 28, 2011 by jroesler728

My “granddaughter” will be five years old in a couple of weeks. What can I get her for her birthday? I want it to be something special.

I’m thinking of the longing in her voice and eyes when she washed her hands with a bar of pink soap at my home. I don’t know where this bar of soap came from. It was a gift from someone. I had kept it wrapped for a long time and then decided to just use it. It became special when Sarah took delight in it. So I decided I will find some pink bar soap and give it to her for her birthday.

This has been easier said than done. After trying several gift shops and a bed and bath store, I was advised that a certain department store carried a large assortment. When I arrived at this store I learned they had none. I asked three different attendants, as I wasn’t sure anyone of them was taking my question seriously. Except, that is, for an older woman who was working at the checkout counter. As I was leaving I told her about my futile search for pink bar soap. She smiled. The look on her face and in her eyes told me she was interested in my mission. With great confidence she said, “Go next door to the Garden Center.”

The Garden Center??? I was confused. “Yes,” she said, and then she laughed and added, “It’s a fun place to go even if you don’t find what you are looking for.”

Against my intuitive doubts, I went to the Garden Center. When I asked for bar soap the attendant there looked at me with compassion and gently explained that they didn’t carry soap. Then, as though an idea suddenly struck her, she said, “unless there could be some in the corner where we have some lotion.”

Since I was in the store anyway I decided to check. Imagine my amazement when I saw three bars of soap resting on a shelf. They were the only bars in the store. They were pink!!! They were expensive but I bought all three.

The lesson was worth it. It’s all about the journey. It would have been fun to visit the Garden Center, anyway.

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Because Your Grandma Loved Me

Posted on September 26, 2011 by jroesler728

Tonight there will be a gathering of family and close friends. We will gather to pray for you as you begin the journey toward becoming a cancer survivor.  When your mother, whom I consider my sister, told me of your diagnosis, I immediately included myself as a part of this family worship. I wonder why, since my path in life has rarely crossed yours directly, that I am so bold as to count myself as family. I didn’t need to ponder long before the answer was gently revealed. It is because your Grandma loved me.

This story could easily be filled in with details and examples, but I want to leave it here for now and simply ask, “Are you loving someone so deeply that, after Jesus picks you up for heaven, that person will consider it a natural thing to pray for your grandchildren?”

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Barren Walls/Blossoming Heart

Posted on September 23, 2011 by jroesler728

I wanted to visit my friend in her home one last time before she moved to a senior living facility with supportive services. This home, from which she will soon move, has the fragrance of a sanctuary for me and for many. Countless prayers have been heard by these walls. Countless stories have been confided in this place knowing the walls could not talk and the listener would not talk (to anyone except God, that is.)

There was an unfamiliar dread in my own heart as I drove toward this visit. It was a strange thing to experience because it was replacing the joyful anticipation of spending time in a friendship I have learned to cherish. I asked myself why this was hard for me. I reminded myself that I had made this same trip for probably 40 years.

It began when I sought counsel for my own confused and broken heart. I was gently but firmly pointed to God’s Word as it was applied to my life with the wisdom of one who knows how to hold grace and truth in tension. Later the visits became more of a mentoring relationship as I was trusted with ministry responsibilities. I valued the security of a safe place to talk and someone who would ask me hard questions and hold the bar high. I sometimes told others that this friend “drilled in my teeth.” But I met with her as often as I could because I knew I was loved and I knew both I and those I love were being prayed for.

In recent years, though counseling and mentoring still happen, our time together is more characterized by friendship. I smile as she calls me her pastor and her friend, knowing she is genuine in this description but also knowing how generous God has been to make this true.

As I arrived at the familiar modest home the door flew open and my name was called with the tone of someone who was glad I was there. As we settled in what was now a sparsely furnished room my eyes scanned the barren walls that had been covered with cherished pieces of art.  Most of the wall décor would prompt a story of its origin and meaning. I stated the obvious thing to my friend and said, “There is nothing on your walls.” She agreed that this was true.

It didn’t take me long to realize that even though the walls were barren the heart of my friend was blossoming. She bubbled over with joy as she talked about the kindness and love that was being poured out on her and her beloved husband by their children. She described what their new place would be like and assured me I would love it there. She testified to the footprints she had detected in her life events that she knew were arranged by God. She spoke with strength of his revealing Himself to her.

At one point when she rose from her chair, she acknowledged some dizziness.  She grabbed her walker just to be safe. This physical weakness confirmed that the move was a good thing.  It’s also a good thing that weakness is undetectable in her spiritual and emotional journey.

As I had come to expect, she asked me what God had been teaching me and with excitement opened her Bible to the verses I referenced declaring she had never seen that in the scripture before. At almost 88 years old having devoured the Bible for most of these years, she was allowing the living word to speak new things.

As we prayed together the blossoms in her heart released a familiar fragrance. The friend who knows me and loves me anyway will have a new address but her heart will not have a new home. The fragrance I thought I would miss was not coming from the now barren walls but from the heart that is at home with Jesus.

I drove away looking forward to our next visit, eager to see how the new walls will be decorated and eager to encounter the heart whose home is eternal.

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Medal and Memories

Posted on September 21, 2011 by jroesler728

The Wisconsin Senior Olympic event that was scheduled for September 2, at the Zoo had to be canceled because of heat and humidity.  My head knew this was a wise call but my heart sank. I wanted to do this power walk. “Well,” I said with resignation, “I can wait until next year.”

Then, last week Thursday I got a call asking if I could participate in a rescheduled event this past Saturday at the lakefront. Of course, I not only could but I would.

And I did!!!

The friend who introduced me to this adventure is a 5K runner. She walked with me. I was aware that her capacity far exceeds mine but she didn’t focus on that. If her goal was to make it fun for me then she won this event.

Because it was rescheduled it lacked some of the ceremony one would expect but we had a clear starting point, a starting signal, a prescribed route, a stopwatch and a finishing point.  Out time for a 5K (more or less) power walk was 43 minutes and 52 seconds. This time was officially recorded and I was challenged to beat that record next year. I was given a T Shirt and a ribbon with a Wisconsin Olympic Medal.

It’s hard to describe why this activity is wrapped in excitement. Is it because I am chasing away some of the myths about aging and decreased mobility? Is it because doing this lets the kid in me come out and play?  I don’t know but I can’t wait to sign up for next year.

I also am cherishing some memories from this walk that God is using to remind me that He is walking the path of my life with me. Let me describe how these memories were created. You will need to let your imagination help you frame this picture.

We had rounded a corner on the track and were walking an area with a beautiful lagoon on our right and Lake Drive on our left. I looked the part with my headphones blaring fast stepping music, my water bottle in my waist pack and my stopwatch around my neck. My whole focus was to finish this race and finish it fast. I was moving my feet, making sure my whole foot rolled onto the ground and my arms were pumping in rhythm. My breathing started to concern me but I knew I needed to ignore it.

Suddenly I felt hands on my shoulders. Their touch was so gentle that I didn’t startle or lose my stride. Then with firmness they guided me to the right side of the path. Before I knew why this was happening a biker blazed by us. Safe again, the hands were released from my shoulders. We walked on without comment. I am comforted now by remembering the gentleness and strength of these hands. I am glad my friend walked with me.

The second memory is created when we are nearing the finish line I begin to relax and I think I was planning to coast in. “Come on now,” my friend coaches. :Let’s put a little more energy into this. The finish line is in sight.” Finding strength from somewhere, I pushed harder. When we stepped over the finish line I felt that I had finished well.

I have a medal hanging on a hook with my T Shirt. Both will fade with time. I have memories of my friend who demonstrated a walk with Jesus. These will grow only brighter with time.


I hope you sign up for Senior Olympics. I hope you walk with someone. I hope Someone walks with you.

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Uncrushable Memory Faith

Posted on September 19, 2011 by jroesler728

I called my friend tonight to ask what she has learned about her son’s diagnostic work up. She had already told me that he had a lump on his neck and that a needle biopsy had revealed cancer.  We were waiting now to learn what a team of doctors was determining regarding the origin, type and extent.

The tone and guardedness of her voice betrayed her awareness.  Even though her son had asked her not to look it up on the Internet, she had yielded to her need to know and read about this dreaded disease.

The depth of our friendship drew me into her heart. I listened intently to her efforts to describe what the treatment plan will be. I wanted to say something hopeful, but knew I needed to meet her in the reality of today and the unknown of tomorrow.

We prayed together on the phone asking God to give us a picture of Jesus holding her son in His arms.  We reminded each other that we embrace grace as it is released to us.

As we talked I noticed my friend’s voice gaining strength. She reminded me that if we didn’t have the background to get ready for this it would be so much harder.

She talked about her memories of watching her parents walk well as they cared for her brother with profound congenital disability. She remembered that they had lived out their faith in Christ as people watched their life.

Our conversation ended with her confident declaration that we will come out victorious.  Now I opened my computer. I was looking for the name of a material that will regain its shape even after it is pressed down. I found a description of a pillow made of uncrushable memory foam.

I am thankful for a friend with uncrushable memory faith.

Are we building a foundation of faith that is getting us ready for whatever life will bring? Will we be able to someday say that if we didn’t have the background to get ready for “this” it would be so much harder?

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An Unspeakable Gift

Posted on September 17, 2011 by jroesler728

As a community health nurse it was my responsibility to meet with hospitalized patients prior to their discharge to arrange follow up home care. The client I am remembering today was 34 years old. I had read her hospital chart and knew that she had cancer of the throat.  The doctor’s notes indicated that her life expectancy was only a few months. The social service notes recorded that she had five small children at home. Surgery had robbed her of the ability to speak.

I allowed extra time for my interview as I would need to ask her questions and then give her a small white board so she could write her answers. I introduced myself to this lady, whose name was Mary, and explained my purpose. Her face was still heavily bandaged because of the extensive surgery. When I asked my first question and handed her the white board and marker, tears ran down her cheeks.

I pondered what had prompted the look of fear and sadness. Then, hoping that I was wrong, I said, “Mary, you can’t read.” Her posture confirmed this dreaded explanation. With a sinking realization that this dying mother would never be able to tell anyone how she felt I quietly asked God, “What am I going to do?”

His answer was immediate, “Teach her to talk to me.”

I put my assessment materials aside, leaned closer to Mary’s face and said, “Mary, I am going to teach you to pray.” And so that is what I did.

I am so thankful for the teaching of Psalm 39 that assures us that before the word is on our tongue, God knows it completely. Mary could “talk” freely to God without voice or literacy. Of course, we made arrangements for her other needs, as well, with posters and pictures.

Mary then went home and I wondered how things were going.

A  couple of months later I “happened” to be in the emergency room when an ambulance pulled up and a patient was brought in by cart. I recognized her as Mary.  My heart was throbbing as I leaned over her and eagerly asked, “Mary, has God been real to you?”

Mary’s eyes shone and she lifted her hand from the blanket to show me a “thumbs up.”

When have you been unspeakably thankful for the unconditional gift of prayer?

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Resting with Jesus

Posted on September 14, 2011 by jroesler728

I asked her if she would pray with me before she went back to India.

She is my friend’s mother. She has been a missionary in her native India for decades. Every summer she spends time here with her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. This gives me a chance to see God through the eyes of someone who has grown to know and love Him from another culture.

I am always surprised when I hug her to be reminded of how short she is. I don’t think of her as little because there is power in her presence, in her speech and in her prayers.

I arrived at her daughter’s home for this requested time of prayer.  As the three of us settled into seats in the living room the mother picked up her chair and moved it towards mine. “I want to be closer to you,” she said.

Somehow our conversation drifted toward waking up in the morning in the presence of Jesus. I listened attentively to this perspective.

Just BE with Jesus when you wake up. You can talk to Him or you can just BE still. Just REST on his lap the way a child falls asleep on her father’s lap. If you are reading and you fall asleep that is OK.

After you have had this time of BEING with Jesus you will start the day refreshed. Then you don’t need to worry about what you are supposed to DO. He will have everything under His control. You can just ENJOY THE SHOW.

She prayed for me talking intimately with expectancy to the God Who has sustained her as a widow, is giving her strength to serve him with vigor and reveals Himself through her faith.

A few days after she left for India I asked her daughter about her trip home. “Oh,” she said, “ Mom is covered with a kind of travel grace. Something always happens. This time she was seated in row with two men. The stewardess came and asked the men if she could move them to other seats. After the men moved, pillows and blankets were brought and Mom stretched out and slept the whole trip.”

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

An Office Visit

Posted on September 12, 2011 by jroesler728

The couple were newlyweds although age-qualified for Medicare. It was a routine physical for the husband.  His wife accompanied him with pad and pen in hand.

This was a second marriage for the husband. His first wife of 35 years had died three years earlier.  This first wife and his current new wife had been friends for years and shared much including personal information regarding the husband’s health and habits.

As the doctor began his physical examination, the wife interrupted by saying, “He doesn’t hear well now and his first wife said he didn’t hear well then.”

Without a pause in his routine or an acknowledgement of the concern the doctor asked the husband, “Other than marital deafness, how is your hearing?”

Are we learning to laugh at ourselves?

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

We Want You In the Picture

Posted on September 9, 2011 by jroesler728

It was a birthday party. I felt honored to be invited because it was a family thing and I am “in” this family because five years ago, I appointed myself as “another” grandmother.

To the grandchilren, I am Besta, the Norwegian translation for grandmother. If the children called all of us simply Grandma, we would have the rather awkward experience of responding to them as a group of four or five.

This partywas for the maternal grandmother visiting from Australia. Her two “real” sisters were there, too. The three sisters range in age from seventy to seventy seven. It was a “family” meal in that we all talked at the same time and everyone was OK with that. I listened in rapt attention as they answered my questions about growing up as kids in China and stories of their father who was a missionary doctor.

They told of a woman who was “pregnant” for sixteen months. The animation as the sisters provided memories made me feel like I was wondering, too, if this might be some special child. The local traditions left room for assigning meaning to unusual stories. But when their father operated, he found a forty-pound ovarian cyst! We tried to replay the surgery and imagine if he could have removed it intact. (They remembered seeing pictures of the cyst overlapping a large bucket.) Thinking that a cyst is fluid-fllled, I contributed a theory that he could have elongated it into a tube like a wiener, but this idea brought more laughter that credibility.

As I listened to stories I so wished I could have met this man who was a general practitioner in the broadest possible sense. After a few hours of authentic Chinese food and authentic family connection, cameras were pulled out. I offered to take the pictures but was met by a verbal chorus, “Oh, no, we want you in the picture.” My heart felt strangely warmed. It is such a healing experience to be wanted in a family picture.

Do you have a story where you have been given the gift of belonging? Is there someone to whom you can give this gift?

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment