A Simple Plan

In John’s gospel Jesus talks to Peter about what will happen when Peter gets old. We can read these verses in John 21 and learn about God’s plan for Peter.  We can read these verses and be glad that it is improbable that we will be crucified upside down so that God can be glorified. But, we can also look for that which might apply to our lives today and seek God’s heart for what is important to Him.

This week I have found four steps that I want to practice in the days/weeks ahead.  Maybe you will try them, too, and let me know of your experience by responding to the “leave a comment” option at the end of this post.

Tell Jesus I Love Him

I can do this with words. I can sing him a song. I can read Him a Psalm. I can write Him a Psalm…

Feed His Sheep

I can visit my friend who is sick. I can pray prayers that “make God sweat.” I can ask someone to do an act of service. I can pay someone’s bill without telling them.  I can share my testimony…

Die to Anything He Can Use to Glorify Himself

I can let my losses happen. I can grieve, but not as those who have no hope. I can ask for and then embrace the grace to be diminished.

Follow Him

I can sit in His Presence each day and let Him direct my steps.  I can risk saying yes to things that terrify me because He has a habit of doing  through me what I could never do on my own. I can care for His creation. I can say, “Yes” before I hear the question…

What have you learned from God’s perspective on getting older? Have you found a simple plan?

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Visiting Miriam

I rang the front door bell with my Bible in my hand and a small vial of anointing oil in my pocket. As I waited I heard my name called from the side of the house.

It was a relief to see Miriam beckoning me to come around to the back yard. I didn’t know how ill she would be. I had come to pray with her and anoint her for healing from a relapsing nephritis. Even though I knew that her appearance was no measure of the severity of her condition it was somehow comforting to see that she didn’t look different. Her peaceful expression, quick smile and sparkling eyes welcomed me to their home.

She directed me to a well kept back yard bordered by lovely plants and bushes. “This is what he does.” Miriam proudly announced, indicating that Carlton, her husband, had done this work. He quickly responded that he had finished the yard in one day and now planned on resting for two.

Three lawn chairs were waiting for us. We talked freely and laughed easily. I commented on the beauty and peace of the place. Miriam said she thought so too except for the chirping of the sparrows. She said it probably wouldn’t be so irritating if she turned her hearing aid off.

I recognized again what has long seemed to me like laughter just below the surface of Miriam’s responses. It’s there, even when we talk about serious things. And yet, rather than make her superficial it adds to the depth of her character. I wonder if I am encountering joy.

Before I have a chance to ask her how she is, she, of course, wants to know how things are going for me. I tell her because she really wants to know but then I direct our conversation to my primary purpose. She is ill and I want to pray for her.

I asked her to tell me how she knew the chronic kidney problem had relapsed. She explained the symptoms of weakness and fatigue that raised the question but it was the breaking out in hives that confirmed her suspicion. I told her I had never heard of nephritis presenting in that way. She said the doctors at Mayo Clinic had never seen a case like it either. She was the only one. Somehow the old nurse in me came out and I said, “Are you sure you don’t have an allergy to something?” We considered the idea and decided that it wouldn’t hurt to get tested but then she quickly added “Unless it would be to wheat, because I couldn’t live without bread. And then she thoughtfully added, “I couldn’t live without butter either.”

“No,” I replied, “If you were allergic to bread or butter it would be better to be dead.” We all agreed on this as a given, much as we would have agreed on an article from the Apostle’s Creed.

A new scent wafted through the air and Carl said, “Somebody is smoking.” We gave nonverbal ascent to his conclusion We continued our easy conversation, interrupting each other, the way families do at dinner, to catch up on news, mostly updates on people we both knew.

She asked about Jim and Jan whose 47-year-old son had died tragically two weeks ago. I said they say their fine but added that we know the worst is yet to come. In union, Carlton and Miriam said, “Oh, yes.” and I could detect a shudder of empathy and a knowing that could only be there because their own precious son had also died tragically. Thankfully, there was the unspoken hope evidenced by their having come through it. An inner strength and tranquility that I have only seen in people whose lives have been pulverized by suffering.

Again, remembering why I had come, I asked if there were any particular scripture she would like me to read. After thinking a moment she said, “It’s all good.”

I chose the beginning of Isaiah 43, substituting Carlton and Miriam for Israel and Judah. She said that was one of her favorite passages. She then asked me to read the end of Isaiah 40. After that, I added Isaiah 50:4.

I took out my vial of oil and reminded these seasoned believers, who have been my teachers, that there is no magic in the oil. I had filled the little vial myself that very morning with ordinary oil. And yet, I said, I believed it to be more than symbolic. With direct eye contact to Miriam I confessed that I was ‘just a little bit Lutheran.” Without blinking she immediately replied with a warm smile “and I’m a little bit Reformed.”

The banner of Unity with Diversity that has given freedom and strength to the fellowship known as Elmbrook Church was flying high.

I told Carlton I was going to anoint him too, because this was happening to him, as well. He became thoughtful and said he didn’t think he had ever been anointed. I said, “Well, at 81 years old, it’s about time.”

I asked if there was anything special they would like me to include in the prayer. They asked for wisdom for how much activity to allow. We all knew that the Prednisone was giving a false sense of well being and rest may need to be embraced as a discipline rather than a feeling.

The prayer was simple and included the application of oil on each of their foreheads in the shape of a cross and in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I was standing on Holy Ground but now it was time for me to go.

Miriam said, “You must leave through the house so you can sign the guest book.” As we entered the kitchen through the back door the smoke we had earlier detected met us and led us to the bright red burner on the electric stove, the soft hissing of an empty aluminum tea kettle and the melted black handle that had by now lost its shape.

Miriam picked it up with an oven mitt and I suggested we put it out on the grass. As she placed it against the house I said, “It’s ruined.”  Yes, she said laughingly, and it isn’t the first one.

Then Carl offered that the buzzing sound we had heard earlier must have been the smoke alarm. He further explained that he thought I would have liked some tea but he had then forgotten about it.

As I signed the guest book, Miriam slipped Carlton a tender kiss. So, I thought, this is what 1 Cor 13 love looks like. As I made my way to the front door I said, “Well, Carlton, now you have something to do today. You need to go buy a new tea kettle.”

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Lil Makes an Appointment

We agreed a good time for both of us would be right after the Senior Seminar—a weekly bible teaching followed by small group discussion. I had offered to come to her home but Lil was so busy with her volunteer schedule that there didn’t seem to be a place to fit me in. She wanted to plan her memorial service and, though it wasn’t exactly urgent, she felt that at age ninety it would be a good thing to get settled.

I met her in the seminar room and after clearing a path through the tables and chairs to accommodate her walker we hit the clear sailing of the church lobby. I was surprised at how fast we moved. The top of her head seemed to be about at my waist when she stood erect but when she was pushing the walker at full speed she was shorter still.

We arrived at my office and after getting settled I prayed that God would guide our plans by both honoring Himself and paying tribute to the memory of Lil at her memorial service. I told her I would be involved in everything except the date. She understood.

As we worked through the “thinking ahead” check list, it was apparent that Lil had done most of the background work and was well prepared. The only remaining thing seemed to be the order of the service.

I had questions that would help me know her better. She answered them with amazing detail and a razor sharp memory.

Her grandfather had moved to Russia from Germany at the time of Catherine the Great. Her parents were born in Russia and immigrated to the United States in 1911. Lil was the first of eleven siblings to be born in the United States.

I asked when she came to know Jesus. “Oh,” she sparked with delight. “I can tell you exactly where and when. I was seventeen years old and it was in front of the altar at our German Evangelical Lutheran Congregational Church on 13th and Garfield.” Then she added, “It happened in German.” We both thought for a moment and then agreed that that would work.

A marriage of 26 years produced no children. She has two surviving sisters, both younger, but one is in poor health and that was a point of concern.

We talked about scripture and music. She had already prepared me for her request that I and another lady in church who also can only “make a joyful noise” would sing a duet. It seemed that we were planning a carnival for children.

Her favorite verses were Isaiah 40:31 and Psalm 23:4. We decided to use these in the memorial program, but I would find another text to preach from. She wanted something different that people didn’t hear all the time.

We chose the people to do reflections. We agreed on the hymns and both knew we would close with I Love to Tell the Story. *

In double checking for details I said, “I think the only thing left for you to do is create a list of people that you want called at the time of your death.”

“Oh,” she said, in kind of a dismissing way. “I can do that myself.”

We shared a moment of tender insight. Neither of us had really come to grips with the purpose of this appointment.

*I Love to Tell The Story, Words: A Katherine Hankey, 1866. Music: William G. Fischer

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It’s Not About the Hymns

A pastor who led a worship team at a local church introduced himself as one who works in the “war department.” It seemed to be a “given” that whatever style of music was prayerfully chosen for the worship service, someone in attendance was offended.

I personally love to learn new songs of praise and worship. I love guitars. I love drums. I love loud. I’m learning to raise my hands and sometimes even move. Maybe someday I will dance.

I also love the hymns. That is not a popular confession because for some it connotes an unwillingness to change, an inflexible attitude, a blindness to the obvious disconnect for our younger generations.  This is especially true if the hymns are sung in the original style with the original tune and where the second verse does not lose its identity.

I want to write about this, not to further agitate a relentless controversy but to suggest that it’s not about the hymns.

I recognized this when I downloaded the hymn, The Old Rugged Cross,* and the newer worship song, The Power of the Cross,** together on my Ipod. As I listened, I realized I really liked both songs.

Still, The Old Rugged Cross stirred my heart in a deeper way. Not because it is a better song but because I grew up singing it. And as I sang it in our little country church and around the fire at camp, it became a window through which I saw more of Jesus.

The connection to the hymns is not to the hymns themselves but to the memories that flood my heart: pictures that remind me of my childhood, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and His walking through my life with me.

We must not ask our younger generation to meet Jesus through these now faded windows. We must take delight in the newly designed glass that enables them to see Him, hear His beating heart and run to Him.

It’s not about the hymns, it’s about HIM!!

*Old Rugged Cross, Words & Music: George Bennard, 1913

** The Power of the Cross, Words & Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend, 2005

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From Significance to Serenity

Several years ago a popular book subtitled “Changing Your Game Plan from Success to Significance challenged readers to release the tyranny of success and embrace something of significance. The title, “Half Time,” identified the intended reader.

It was like rain on a parched land for those whose apparent success felt meaningless. Many chose to earn less money and hold a less prestigious position in order to invest in something that would improve the lives of others and advance the causes of justice.

In reflecting on this paradigm shift, I wonder if there is a season where we are called to move from significance to serenity? If so, it raises many questions. Who is initiating the transition? Is it personally chosen? Is it imposed by aging, employment or relational transitions?

I think how each of us is able to personally answer these questions contributes to whether serenity is a welcome gift or an elusive goal.We know that godliness with contentment is great gain. Paul said that he had learned to be content without the advantage of circumstances.

How do we process the losses of significance in ways that build a bridge to serenity?

I would love to learn what you have learned. I will watch for your comments.

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I wonder If I brought salt…

I wonder if I brought salt…

I am driving in my car hoping I have everything I need to spend a few days at our camper. It takes one hour and fifteen minutes to get from my back door to the camper’s front door. How and why we have this camper on this lakefront rental site is a story too long to tell here. It is enough to review my annual mental conflict.

I should sell this thing. It’s more work than it’s worth. The rent is expensive and every year is laden with needed repair bills. I spend most of my time setting up and cleaning up. By the time I get it together I don’t have the time or energy to enjoy it.

BUT, I get there and a heron is fishing just a few feet from our deck. Something of my childhood stirs within me as I check the stack of firewood. The sparks from the campfire tonight will shoot high and as I follow the spark, I will see a star. God’s creation presses me to worship. Besides, in this economy no one will buy it for a fair price.

BUT, back to the salt… Why don’t I know if I left some there or have some with me? Am I getting forgetful or have I always been this disorganized? I can argue both views with the persuasion of a Yale attorney.

As I engage in this internal debate, I find my thoughts wandering to my final journey when I leave this body known as a tent and move into my eternal home. I smile as I remember that I won’t need to remember to bring anything.

Because of the scars on Jesus’ hands I can come home with empty hands.

My Dad’s favorite hymn fills my mind and heart.  Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee…Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling.*

What does arriving at heaven’s door empty handed mean to you?

*Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me

Text: Augustus M. Toplady
Music: Thomas Hastings

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Faith Like a Child’s

by Jean Roesler

In a sermon recently, we were reminded that we are to have faith like that of a child. Faith that is trusting, just as a child trusts a father’s voice when he calls her to come to him for safety. Faith that is comforting, just as a child runs to her mother’s arms when she’s hurt. Faith that is reassuring, just as a child cries but is reassured of a parent’s love. Faith, the way it should be. I have to chuckle whenever I think about my faith as a child. It looked nothing like that above, but hopefully, it made God smile!

I remember when I was a kid we had a sermon that Jesus would come back as a thief in the night. I took that literally. I lied awake at night trying to determine what to do if a thief broke into my room. How would I know if it were a real thief or Jesus? Would he be wearing all black? What was he doing at my house anyway?

And then there’s my faith “as told on the big screen.” I learned much of my Bible history at the drive-in movies, clad in pajamas, sitting in the back seat of the family car. A movie that had a lasting impression on me was, The Story of Ruth. It began with little girls lined up being chosen for sacrifice. Ruth, of course, was the prettiest little girl, perfect in every way, and the obvious choice. Just as she was about to be chosen, a brown spot suddenly appeared on her arm. Such an imperfection would not be suitable for the “gods” and she was passed over. I don’t even remember the rest of the story, but forever in my mind, Ruth was the little girl with the brown spot. As an adult I did my first Bible study on the story of Ruth. I was so excited to actually know something, so I proudly stated that she was the little girl with the brown spot. Much to my dismay, did I learn, that that’s not even in the Bible. Theatrical license had done me in.

And then there’s the faith of a competitive child. Attending Vacation Bible School one summer I memorized over 200 Bible verses so that I could get the 1st place prize of a cross necklace. While other kids were playing games at recess time, I was reading my Bible memorizing any verse I could. I was good at memorizing. I didn’t have a cross necklace and I wanted it! On the last day the time came to award the prizes. Of course, I came in 1st. I was so excited to get my cross, except, for one thing—the cross necklace was the 2nd place prize. Imagine my disappointment. Worse than that, the teacher said that next year, people would have to say the verses they memorized. That scared the daylights out of me as I’m quick to memorize but only have a 10 second recall. That was the last Vacation Bible School I attended.

Scarier than having to say Bible verses was the night I prayed to see Jesus. Earnestly I wanted to see Him. I needed to see Him to make sure he was real. With my face in my pillow I pleaded to see Jesus. I turned over, and there in my room was a small shinning light. I was sure it must be Jesus and I quickly turned back over, and just as earnestly prayed that I didn’t need to see Jesus any more. He could go back. But when I turned over again the light was still there, and would be there until daylight, when the streetlight lamp shining through the small hole in my window shade would be turned off.

Father, faith as a child is a gift. It brings back sweet memories. I hope I made you smile. But faith through aging eyes is its own gift, a gift to see your blessings, grace, mercy, and faithfulness. Thank you.

What faith stories as a child do you have that made God smile? Share them with us.

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Tending the Rubber Plant

This rubber plant story was introduced on this blog on April 29. Today I will write about my relationship with it.

Knowing that the full weight of keeping this plant alive was now on my shoulders I decided to get some help from “experts.” I stopped at a well-known gardening center of good reputation and asked the young lady in customer service if she could help me find something to clean and nurture rubber plant leaves. Casey’s family had made it clear to me that the leaves need attention or they will film over and the plant will be at risk.

The young service provider responded with enthusiasm and walked with me to a shelf of spray bottles. She chose a product and confidently endorsed it as a great choice. I read the label and said to her that I needed something for a live plant. She looked confused and said she thought I had said the plant was rubber.

I prayed and experienced victory over my tongue. I did not say, “I didn’t think it would be possible to find someone in a garden center that knew less about plants than I did!!!!” (I actually would have been surprised to find someone on the street that has had less experience with houseplants than I have had.) My victory over my tongue was extended. I did not ask her, “How did you possibly get a job at this place?”

I went home and remembered Jane. I hadn’t talked to her for a long time. I found her phone number and called. She is a retired employee of this same garden center.

I told her my rubber plant challenge and her responses seemed to be coming from an encyclopedia. We talked about everything that needed to be done and what would put the plant at risk. I asked if I could transplant it and even start new ones. “Oh, yes,” and her instructions continued to flow.

Knowing she no longer drove her car I said, “Jane, if I come and get you will you help me?” She said she would love to. We decided to wait until the weather was just a little better and at the end of this very fun conversation I asked Jane how old she was. “Roselyn, I am 79.”

In these days when the young seem to have an edge on technology and information, it’s nice to know that sometimes, experience is still the better teacher.

I can’t wait until Jane comes. I will write about it then.

What has experience taught you? Share your thoughts and stories with us.

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Don’t Ask Me Again!!!

My mother kept asking the same questions.

 It took me a couple of years to really face the fact that she asked again because she had no memory of having asked before.

As her dementia progressed there were episodes where the questions came in a rapid-fire cycle of repetition.

 She asked, “Where’s Daddy?” I said, “Daddy died.” She gasped and asked,  “When?” I said, “Ten years ago.”

She asked,  “What did he die from?”

I said, “His heart gave out.”

With no space between the conversation repeated:

She asked, “Where’s Daddy?” I said, “Daddy died.” She gasped and asked,  “When?” I said “Ten years ago.” She asked, “What did he die from?” I said, “His heart gave out.”

With no space between the conversation repeated:

She asked, “Where’s Daddy?” I said, “Daddy died.” She gasped and asked, “When?” I said, “Ten years ago.” She asked,  “What did he die from?” I said, “His heart gave out.”

I then told myself I couldn’t keep saying the same thing over and over and gave myself permission to try a verbal stun gun.

On this round when she asked, “Where’s Daddy?” I said, “Daddy died.” She gasped and asked,  “When?” I said, “Ten years ago.” She asked,  “What did he die from?” I said, “He died from too much sex!” Oh, Mom said with a shudder and a smile, “THEN I KILLED HIM!”

She had no more questions!

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Tenses of Gratitude

Aging is a fertile field for past tense gratitude. I can reflect on my life and recognize God’s protective hand on my childhood years. How does a child even stay alive on a small farm where my small hands were the only ones available to do what would be a challenge to a skilled technician? Do memories of my teen years and early adulthood make God shudder as much as I do, in retrospect? What about the time I got our 1950 Ford up to 100 miles per hour and won the drag race with my high school competitor (who was a boy). Were the angels tired? What about the risks from nursing school where we slipped our names to the business men who came to “take us out on a date” because our nearly blind house mother wouldn’t let us go unless the men knew our names?

Then we can move from protective grace to provisional grace. How can it be that I was trusted to be the children’s pastor of a mega church? I stepped forward when the need presented because our Senior Pastor had taught me that availability was more important than ability. I spent the next decade watching God do what He has promised, “The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 24.

I remember every fall needing 600 Sunday School teachers. We started with a blank flip chart and every year we got the 600 names. Some of the parents thought I was amazing. I tried to tell them that it was God who is amazing, but not every one can process this mystery. It did give me the courage to push our volunteers past their comfort zone because, I knew from personal experience, that once you experience God doing through you what you could never do, you will never leave ministry or deny miracle.

This same God of the impossible has provided Senior Adult stories that I will tell in future blogs. But for today, can I, in faith, lean on the God who has been faithful and is faithful to be faithful?

What about the future tense of faith? How will I embrace the losses of aging? How do I demonstrate the “grace to be diminished” when the one who is being diminished is me?

Please God, may my gratitude attitude cover past, present and future tenses. May I, in faith, thank you now that Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. May I lean hard on the promise that His power is made perfect in weakness, even when the weakness is due to aging.

How are you processing the losses of aging? Are you able to trust the God who has been faithful to be faithful? I’d love to hear your stories.

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