I couldn’t wait to get there.
As I was driving the almost hour it took, I pondered why I was so looking forward to this particular morning with my friend. I recognized that it might be rational to dread it. You see, I was taking my two first acrylic paintings out to a stunningly accomplished artist for the purpose of asking her what I am doing wrong.
I smiled as I answered my own question. The reason this invited critique is so welcome to me is that I know this friend loves me and only has my best interest at heart.
Continuing my mental dialogue, I asked myself why I feel trepidation when I ask God to search my heart. Don’t I trust that he will only take away that which is not contributing to the Masterpiece He is making of me? Don’t I know that He will stir excitement as I begin to recognize that I have more potential than I realized?
My session with my friend, as she worked with me and my painting, had many “moments” that translate easily into reflections of that which God desires to do with my heart.
When I laid out my paintings before her, she smiled with interest and then asked, “How would you like me to help you today?”
I told her I would like to learn how to bring light on to the canvas. With the confidence of a master she said, “I can help you with that”.
The first steps took me in a direction I had not expected. There was no way I could see that what she was asking me to do would in anyway create the finished product I was seeking. But, I trusted her and followed every step as best as I could.
She watched me patiently, far enough away for me to feel like it was mine, but close enough to stand beside me when I turned my head toward her.
At times, she took my brush and said, “I’m going to shock you now!” as she lightly brushed blue or even yellow all over my background and then worked it in as though it belonged.
Why do I hesitate when God asks me to do something that I can’t imagine will lead me to where I want to go? Why do I resist letting Him take the brush and shock me with techniques that only make sense to me in hindsight?
As I left my friends studio, I recognized that I have much more to learn than I realized. Learning to paint will be a journey, not a class. Maybe God, too, is wanting me to remember that I am on a journey. I really don’t have many answers. In fact, I don’t even know the questions.
I am so grateful that I am learning to paint and that I have a Master teacher.
I am so grateful that I am learning to trust the One Who is crafting me into a Masterpiece for Him.
I can’t wait to present myself to Him today in prayer and ask Him to search my heart.
It’s easier today, because yesterday I was guided by “Jesus with skin on”.