This morning I am pondering the question my adopted granddaughter asked me last night. “Besta, (Norwegian for Grandma) are you still married now that Virgil died?”

I hadn’t really thought about it. I answered, “I don’t think so.

Then, for the first time, I used the word “widow”. I said, “I guess I am a widow now”.

This grandchild immediately reacted with alarm, “That sounds sad and negative”.

Her words stirred a passion within me. I determined at that very moment that “No way will sad and negative be descriptive of who I am becoming.”

Among the plethora of new things that I am beginning to process, is the choosing of a new category when asked to designate marital status.

But, more importantly, how will I be perceived by this granddaughter that doesn’t miss anything as she watches my life.

I am grateful for her question. I am grateful for all her questions. They keep me cognizant that I am being watched.  My talk needs to be translated into my walk for me to be authentic in her eyes.

I look forward to disempowering any label that limits my new journey.