I knew I wouldn’t be joining a group for corporate worship today, although that is what I usually do on a Sunday Morning.

But just since last Sunday, I am looking at life through a new lens.

My husband, (age 90 with the limitations that have come with stroke and heart surgery), had been able to care for himself independently.

Now he can’t.

On Monday, a dramatic loss of strength led to this man having a number of medical assessments, a short hospital stay, and then a discharge with Home Care Support and the need for 24/7 supervision.

Since I have not been given time to process this, I am doing so as I write. It seems major changes in life come without forewarning and then the realization that some preparation should have been made.

This applies personally to me in that I am a community health nurse and have helped hundreds of families through the dilemma in which I now find myself.

Yet, it’s always different when you are the subject of the story rather than the observer.

Even the routine of morning hygiene for a bed patient, which as nurses we do without cringing, feels like punishment when the patient is your husband.

So, it is from this “in process” frame of mind that I make the determination that even though I will not be a part of corporate worship, I WILL worship personally.

I find a place to sit where I can be quiet but still see my husband’s bed. I gather my Bible, ITunes, and paper, finding myself writing words that gradually become this poem.

This is the day You have made for me                                                                                             And I WILL give you Praise!                                                                                                                 I lift my eyes oe’r the mess I see                                                                                                          and gaze into Your face.

I’ll watch ‘til Your eyes tell the story                                                                                                    Of Your hidden design in these days.                                                                                                    I trust that the trash most important to you                                                                                                Is stashed in the folds of my ways.

So, pull me deeper to Your heart                                                                                                          and do the work I need                                                                                                                             I’ll try to be still Neath the scalpel                                                                                                      and move only as You lead.

I’ll try to sing You a song of Praise                                                                                                         I’ll try to make the song new                                                                                                            “Relax, my child”, You then gently say,                                                                                           “Today, I’ll sing over you”.

I ask that you not focus so much on the poem, itself, but look for the tender way that Jesus Himself enters our broken worship and leaves us with effortless praise; calling friends to tell them God had met with us!!

Ephesians 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” NIV