You say you want me to sing like when I was a child. It was fun to sing then. My voice was clear. I sang alone when I was three and everyone smiled. I harmonized at home as family and friends stood around the piano. I sang loud then just because I wanted to. I was in a triple trio in High School. There my voice blended. My voice was welcome. I never wondered if I could sing. I just did. It was fun.
Now I wonder if I can sing. I don’t think the years have been kind to the tone and quality of my voice. It doesn’t sound to me like a voice that should be recognized in a group. I certainly should never sing a solo. I love harmony but I am not sure anymore if I am hitting the right key. In church it could be that the person sitting next to me wishes they had sat somewhere else.
But Jesus tells me He wants to hear me sing to Him. He misses my voice.
I’ve placed my hands on my throat and prayed that my vocal cords be restored. I’ve prayed for more breath.
I would welcome the gift of a great voice. I’d love to be a blessing when I break into song.
But I wonder if Jesus cares how I sound. I wonder if He wants me to close my ears to my own sound and sing again with freedom. Sing because I have reason to sing. Sing because He told me He misses my songs.
Maybe I can be a blessing to Jesus and even those who hear me, not because they wonder if I am Juilliard trained but because I am obviously in love with the One to whom I am singing.
My Lover has asked me to sing. He already knows how I will sound. He is more interested in how my singing will make both of us feel. And how my singing will bridge me deeper into His Presence.