Some Greeks came up to Philip in John 12 and said they wanted to see Jesus. Philip told Andrew and together they told Jesus.
Jesus answered by talking about how if a seed does not die it does not yield a harvest, and how we must have no regard for our own life here if we want to preserve our life for eternity and then goes on to talk about his own trouble and distress. This is followed by a voice from heaven.
Is this the Jesus I am wanting to see: one that when I ask a question seems to answer something else; one that models for me that time must be seen in the context of eternity; that my concerns for today need to be surrendered so that I can embrace transcendent values; that a troubled soul is not necessarily a problem to be fixed but a reality to be experienced; one that dialogues with heaven and talks to me in ways those around me may interpret as thunder?
I know that when I pray, “Lead me not into temptation” one of my temptations is to create the Jesus I want. I want a Jesus that will stop everything and acknowledge the people who I bring to Him, especially if they are hurting. I want a Jesus that will have regard for what is important to me today. I want a Jesus with whom a relationship will mean I have no trouble and distress.
The Jesus I have is not the Jesus I want. But, more importantly, the me that He has is not the me that He wants.
Lord Jesus Christ, create in me a heart that wants to see You as You are.
It sure does seem that we all have created a Jesus that isn’t the real one. I really do think that He should heal all disease and prevent suffering. Seems like if I was God, that’s what I’d do.
But He’s calling us deeper. To a place where we already have a new heart, because He replaced our old one when we came to Him. Patching up the old one wouldn’t do.
To a place where everything within us cries “holy”. To the place that Mary was when she was able to say, “Let it be unto me according to your Word.” Where our hearts break and hurt desperately for those who suffer and those who are without Him. Not to a place where I say “I am nothing,” but rather, “I have nothing”. To a place where I glory in my weakness. I realize that I can do nothing on my own, but am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
If I was God, and my highest goal was to get my dear ones to realize that only in a close and intimate walk with me could they experience my love, what would I do? Knowing my dear ones’ propensity to wander and get self absorbed, would I clear the path and make the way smooth? Probably not. What’s best for us is to realize our need for our Daddy. To see Him as everything. To offer Him to others as everything. To praise Him for being everything.
The comfort that I have experienced in the darkest times is precious to me. I am able to see Him for who He truly is when I am my neediest. He has spoken words of comfort to me when my heart seemed mortally wounded. I would not trade those times for anything in this world. It’s a taste of the relationship that is available to me at every moment, but that I am often too preoccupied to participate in. There is no condemnation for this. But I can sense that in those times when I am not participating fully, he remains poised to engage with me. His heart whispers, “Oh my dear one, how much you miss”.
Thank you for this. I cherish your thoughts and experiences. May we not miss that which God longs to give.